Relationship Breakup – After the No Contact Rule, When to Reconnect With Your Ex
One of the many pieces of advice given is to not talk to your ex after the relationship breakup. This piece of advice is a sound one. It protects you from increasing levels of misunderstanding, anger and resentment.
At this point you should have acquired some composure. You have practiced the no contact rule allowing yourself to focus on other elements of your life. You have also reduced a feeling of neediness, desperation and victimization.
So how do you know the time is right for you to make a move back to your ex? And what specific actions and mindset do you need to do this effectively?
The Time is Right to Talk to Your Ex When…
When the following conditions apply, you can consider contacting your ex:
No contract rule done for at least one month.
You’ve done some hard thinking about you, your relationship and your ex.
You have minimized feelings of resentment and anger.
You’ve worked on and found areas to improve the quality of your life without your ex. These could be your job, your fitness level, family, friends, etc.
You have a greater sense of independence and confidence.
How to Reconnect
The best way is a simple phone call. You simply try to call your ex when you believe they will be able to talk privately. Keep the conversation light and fun. The goal is to just get in his presence.
Meet somewhere for coffee or lunch. Specify date, time and location. Plan this about a week in advance.
You are looking for the kind of meeting which can be quick. You don’t want at this stage for negative memories to rear their ugly heads. Have an idea of what you plan to say during your meeting. Again, the topic should be a fun memory from the past. Keep it light and upbeat.